This week we explore a surprising realization I had this weekend that gave me an entirely new perspective on emotions. What if we could learn a whole new language and find ourselves in the process? 

OCTOBER 31, 2025

This past weekend I came to an entirely new realization.

Emotions aren't feelings. They are languages.

Not only that but they are languages most of us do not even realize we are speaking.

Emotions are filled with nuances and layers many of us were never taught how to interpret. 

And like any language we don't fully understand, there is always the risk that something crucial is getting lost in translation.

You would think that as a coach, author, and academic, the idea that emotions are a language would not be a new concept for me.And intellectually, it wasn't. I have studied emotional intelligence extensively, worked with many clients to unravel and release complex emotions, and explored emotional depth in my writing for years.

Yet, somehow, I had never fully internalized the idea. There was a gap between knowing about emotions and becoming fluent in translating their subtle messages into understanding and empowered action.

This became vividly clear to me as the past weekend unfolded.  

Something had felt off inside me since Friday. I didn’t have a huge appetite and by Friday evening the sense of disconnect was so deep that I couldn't even send a handful of WhatsApp messages to my family. I capitulated and went to bed.

I woke Saturday morning at 6am, startled out of my sleep by something still feeling off. At first, I thought I was having a panic attack. Then I thought I felt fear. But as I sat with a cup of tea and my discomfort, fear didn't seem quite right either.

This felt deeper, more layered, and despite all my training and what I thought was extensive emotional intelligence, I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Unfortunately, Saturday mid-morning presented me with an important choice. We had been working on a huge project for the past year and I had to decide whether to go live on Monday, or push the project another month, throwing off our entire schedule, budget, and the hard work we had all put into getting it this far.

Because I was feeling so strange, I made the decision to push the project. I thought I was experiencing fear, anxiety, and stress because of the upcoming deadline and to relieve some of that unease, I took away the cause.

Or so I thought.  

By Saturday evening, I had not been able to eat. I was pacing the house like a caged tiger and decided that maybe some movement would help settle whatever was bothering me. After an hour of yoga I didn’t feel any different. I meditated and tapped with the same result.

I distracted myself most of the night, had a few hours of sleep and was startled awake at 6am on Sunday by the same sensation again.

This time, I met it with curiosity, instead of confusion. I sat with my tea and the discomfort and asked what it wanted to tell me. And yes, sitting in the living room, drinking my tea and talking to myself did get me a few strange glances from my family.

But this felt so important to figure out. Sunday morning, I began translating what this feeling of doom was trying to communicate.

I felt unprepared stepping into something new without knowing the exact outcome. The emotion was signaling that I was about to move beyond my familiar comfort zone. It was trying to protect me from failure, ridicule, financial loss, and a million other unhappy outcomes it could dream up.

As soon as that realization moved through me, the feeling disappeared. I took a deep breath and actually laughed out loud. And it felt like I had learned a whole new language that morning.

Emotional fluency might not be a language we were taught, but it is one we can learn. 

It shapes how we communicate, the quality of our relationships, and the integrity of the choices we make. It supports us in responding from awareness rather than reaction, even in moments of vulnerability or uncertainty.

If emotions are indeed languages, becoming fluent in them could profoundly shift how we navigate every aspect of our lives.And I can't help but wonder what would happen if we took the time to learn this language intentionally, instead of leaving our emotional conversations to chance or habit.

It could shift how deeply we connect, how clearly we are heard, and how powerfully we show up for the things that matter most.

Maybe understanding our emotions isn't about emotional intelligence, but about deeply knowing ourselves. It's about honoring what we feel, what we need, and who we truly are.  And perhaps, in learning to speak this language, we create the space to become the most aligned version of ourselves.

And in that sense, emotional fluency really could be the superpower we never realized we needed.

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