In this week’s post, we look at the moments that define connection and what they expose about our state of wellbeing. Can we really tell how well we are by our Vulnerability Quotient?

FEBRUARY 5, 2026

Sharing is caring. I am fairly certain you have heard that saying before.

Especially as practitioners, we share to connect, to offer what we have learned, and to remind others they are not alone in their journeys.

But I have started to wonder what happens when sharing becomes our default state. When openness stops being a choice and turns into an expectation.

At what point does “caring” begin to cost us our own wellbeing?

A few months ago, I was invited to speak on a panel of women. The discussion centered around trauma and required vulnerability and self-reflection to access the deep level of sharing appropriate for the panel.

It was a new step in my journey of visibility and aligning with my authentic lived experiences. Being seen in public with all my wounds is something I am still getting used to.

When we signal it is all right to be wounded, have traumatic past experiences, and still speak about it, it becomes a path of healing for many others who have kept silent.

I prepared for the panel with a lot of meditation and healing sessions. I realized that what would come up could potentially be triggering and I wanted to care for myself throughout that experience.

It ended up being a cathartic experience as much as it brought healing and I felt we created a beautiful resource to share with the world.

The panel also made me think about the work I do every week. Recording podcast episodes, meeting with clients, supporting people through their experiences, speaking in interviews and for events.

I have noticed how I often move from one space of sharing to the next with very little pause in between.

It has become natural to live in that rhythm because every part of it feels purposeful. Yet I have been curious about what it actually takes to sustain this much presence over time.

What allows us to keep showing up with genuine openness, whether we are guiding clients, leading teams, or holding an incredible vision that touches many lives.

This work shapes my days and it also makes me aware of how much energy it takes to stay vulnerable, open, and connected.

I began to wonder if there is an internal measure that lets us sense when our openness is well resourced and when it starts to wear thin. A kind of inner signal that tells us how much of ourselves is actually present in the moment we share.

When I speak about a Vulnerability Quotient, I mean the felt sense that tells us how available we are for real connection in that moment.

You can sense it before a meeting, a session, or a conversation that matters. There are times when you feel open and centered, ready to meet what comes. And there are times when you feel stretched thin, even irritated by connection.

It happens in that small pause before connection, when everything we have lived through decides in that moment how open we can be.

In that pause, the nervous system reads the moment. It remembers what safety has felt like before. It tracks tone, movement, and the environment around us. It decides how much we can open right now, even before we become consciously aware of it.

Sometimes, that awareness tells us to lean in and to open, to share, and to speak from the heart. Other times, it asks us to stay with ourselves, to rest, to integrate, and to be quiet for a while.

The wisdom is in listening. 

Because when openness is no longer rooted in presence, it can become a mask we wear.

And when sharing no longer includes self-connection, it begins to drain rather than nourish.

Notice how vulnerability lives in your day-to-day life. When does it feel like a natural part of how you relate and create, and when does it start to cost your focus, energy, or sense of safety? Can you sense how your capacity for vulnerability shapes the way you lead, connect, and make decisions?

And as you begin to sense your Vulnerability Quotient in those moments, what might it show you about how you care for your energy, your presence, and your wellbeing?

Caring begins to mean something different when we realize that our presence is part of the offering. It is not just the words we share or the empathy we extend, but the authenticity we bring when we know our own limits.

Perhaps the real act of care is to recognize when our Vulnerability Quotient calls us home to replenish, so that what we share remains alive and true.

At its heart, our Vulnerability Quotient shows us, in every moment we connect, how much of our wellbeing we have to sustain that connection, and when we need to recharge our wellbeing to sustain ourselves.

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