Some days feel busy yet strangely empty, as if the hours ticked away without leaving behind anything but a forgettable blur. In this week’s post, I made a startling discovery about where that time was really going and how I was subconsciously contributing to it.

DECEMBER 26, 2025

Some days, I am the queen of busywork. Being a perfectionist often hinders me in the creative process, so I rein myself in at various times of the day to ensure I am not just continuing work to make it perfect.

Yes, at times, attention to detail is very important. However, for most day-to-day tasks, it is something that will turn a 10-minute task into a 2-hour odyssey with a very similar, if not the same, end result.

Last week, choosing a very simple practice for one of my programs became exactly such an adventure.

I was excited to put together a new practice. It gives me a chance to combine various different healing approaches and really connect with the participants in our programs. Practices are meant to be fun, simple, and easy for people to do in their day-to-day lives.

As I pored over some different ideas for the practice, I started thinking about scientific studies that should back up these practices. Next came the order of the practice, how I would demonstrate and explain it, and then the actual practice. It was dinner time by the time I had everything sorted.

I looked back over my calendar and realized this was not an exception to the rule. Very often, tasks tended to take me much longer than anticipated and I became determined to find an answer as to why.

As simple as it sounds, I eventually came to the conclusion that instead of being engaged in most of my tasks (or work), I was just staying surface-level busy to feel like things were getting done.

Digging deeper into this experience, I realized that there is a huge difference between engagement and staying busy. Staying busy looks better on the outside because you can fool yourself into thinking you are doing a lot of things. But when I considered my conscious experience over the past few days, what looked busy didn't actually get much meaningful work done.

In the end, it came down to three important concepts for me: presence, energy feedback, and alignment with my values. Let’s break these down.

When I was busy, I couldn’t recall details of what I just did. I was often checking my phone while doing something else, or I was already thinking about the next task instead of the one in front of me, splitting my focus 100% of the time.

In contrast, when I was engaged, I noticed little details like the sound of my mentor’s voice in a voice note, and the flow of the task I was working on. Time passed without constantly checking the clock.

When I was busy, I constantly felt a sense of urgency. There was just so much pressure to get things done that I could feel the literal tension in my body. After I was done, I felt completely drained.

 I was absorbed, my body felt alive and buzzing with energy, yet my mind was focused and aware at the same time. It felt so satisfying to finish, but I also didn’t want the task to end.

And in my busywork, I often do things because “I have to get them done” or “others expect it.” I really wouldn’t choose half of those tasks if nobody was watching.

When I am truly engaged, my tasks or projects feel chosen, or at least connected to something I deeply care about. I can clearly link it to a personal or professional value (growth, contribution, creativity, connection).

Am I noticing details or rushing past them?

Is my body telling me “drained” or “alive”?

Can I name the value this connects to in under 10 seconds?

I am curious to hear what you find in your life and if you have noticed busywork creeping in throughout the day as well.

In the end, it became clear that all this connected back to my nervous system. My nervous system doesn’t fully regulate with busywork. It uses it to create a distraction from things I do not want to face or work on. My nervous system regulates when I am fully engaged, present, and aligned. 

Busywork does more than drain energy

It interrupts the way our brain processes experience. Memory needs focused attention and a chance to be stored, but when our focus is scattered across too many small tasks, that process is cut short. The result is that time passes, yet later it can feel as though it was only a blur. 

And maybe that is the biggest sign of being busy rather than engaged.

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